A traditional grandmother is the moral center of every family. They are the glue of tradition and keep families from completely falling apart. A grandmother can be an elder mother figure of no blood relation where all other factors exist of a grandmother/grandchild relationship. Grandmothers and great-grandmothers can be the most important person to the family unit. They are the person who has raised and cared for their children and in many black families, the ones who have financially provided for and disciplined the first generation. They are the person who helps establish structure and tradition. There are grandmothers who raise their family with love, rules, respect, and stability. There are others who raise their family in chaos, hate, or toxic environments.
Loving and emotionally stable grandmothers are the backbone of generations who thrive, are successful, and are less likely to be destructive or abusive. Positive grandmothers often establish or continue familial traditions such as going to church every week, and maintaining holiday and birthday functions. Good grandmothers often provide experience, support and stability to parents in different ways. For grandchildren, the grandmother can be a person they can confide in, sometimes in ways they can’t to their parents.
Negative, emotionally abusive grandmothers have the overwhelming power to destroy several generations of familial lineage. Offspring raised in an unstable, psychologically damaging household – will undoubtedly pass on the same traits to the second generation and so forth. A child born and raised in generational neglect and dysfunction can struggle with living a positive and healthy life. They have a much higher chance of being imprisoned or becoming an abuser themselves.
My grandma believed in structure and she raised her children in a stable family home with rules, love, and discipline. Her word was the final say. The family home my grandmother provided was one that sheltered three generations. When times were tough for a family member, they could go back home to grandma’s house until they got back on their feet. No one went without a meal and no holiday without a feast. My grandma could beat anyone’s cooking because she cooked with love. You could taste it. Neighbors always accepted a plate of food from her. Her house was a house no one robbed because neighbors respected her. Grandma could size up a person by looking at them. There were some neighborhood kids I could play with, others I had to tell them, “My grandma says I can’t play with you” and walk away. It wasn’t until years later when I saw how they turned out that I realized why I couldn’t play with them.
My grandma has played a significant part of my life. She is an example of a life I hope to continue to live by and an example of love and respect I wish to give to others. Email me and tell me about your grandma at comments@cultureblurb.com .